Admittedly, most of the weirdest stuff happens when you have an infant. Cause really, they are just disgusting. The worse thing is when something gross happens (a certain day when I discovered poop under my fingernails several hours after I had changed the poopy diaper comes to mind) and it ceases to register to you because your life has just become one gross event after another.
In the glorious phase that is having school-aged children that we are now living in, I'm discovering the weird stuff no longer involves the infant-level gross factor, but there are still so many weird things. Below are a just a few:
- We have just endured 9 rolls of toilet paper that had been stood upon in the package by none other than Miss Harper. Not a big deal, you think? Wrong. That circle doesn't come back once it becomes an oval. Makes a TON of noise on the toilet paper holder. Weird.
- Our kitchen table is never clean. I wipe it (almost) every night with spray cleaner. It stays clean while we sleep, but as soon as someone is awake, there is a sticky spot on the table. And I have the awesome skill of being able to find it with my hand. Every time. Weird.
- I tell grownups that I need to go potty. I'm 36. I use the restroom. Seriously.
- Our car is never clean. Even after I clean it out, there's still all sorts of weird crap in it. There's a substance in the carpet in between the two kids seats that ain't been identified yet. It won't come out. It's with us for life.
- Emails from the PTA and/or the room mom are weird. Not all of the time, but sometimes. I just wonder if those people need to get a hobby. And then I realize that this probably is their hobby. And that makes me sad.
I've got to go clean the kitchen table.
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