It has started

Today was the Carnival at Weekday (Harper's school).  This is the first year they have done it outside the school day and made it more of a family event.  It was awesome.  Face painting, bouncy houses, shaved ice, cotton candy, prizes.  Basically, kid heaven.  Harper had a fabulous time and Jason was able to come over on his lunch hour to play for a bit, so that was a nice treat as well.
What cast a little shadow over the day for me today was the realization that this was my first and last one. Next year this time my little girl will be about to wrap up her kindergarten year.  And there will be no more babies for me at Weekday. I am about 4 months away from the "mom of preschoolers" chapter of my life being finished.
Mostly, that sentence thrills me beyond measure.  I am not a baby person. I have discovered I am a kid person. This is the stage of life I saw in my mind's eye when I pictured Jason and I as parents.  My babies were adorable and we had some really great times.  There are things I miss about each stage of their lives so far, but not in a let's-have-more-babies-so-I-can-do-that-all-over-again kind of way.
The thing that makes me sad about that sentence is the loss of the Weekday community.  A lot of the teachers that Garrett and Harper had are still there.  I have been with those ladies, in some cases, for almost 7 years (Garrett started when he was just shy of 1 year old). I am a better mother because of them.  They allowed me some space from my babies, which I quickly discovered was vital to their survival and my mental health.  But it wasn't just care they received.  It was love.  In many, many ways, they loved my children better than I could in certain situations (potty training comes to mind). They became my partners in raising my little people.  The advice, the words of wisdom, the perspective, the support I received from all those wonderful people has really shaped how how I parent Garrett and Harper.
As I stood in the parking lot today and just surveyed the general splendor, I got a little sad. I will miss that. The community of the teachers and the community of the parents.  It was always so great to connect with a special few parents who were parenting the same aged child as yours. It was just an added bonus that we all work for the same company.  Now I will have no reason to visit the actual church building during the week except for a handful of meetings now and again. I am going to miss that connection with some of the staff that work in the church building.
It's funny.  When Garrett was in Pre-K, I was a massive puddle for basically the entire year.  But my sadness centered all around him going to kindergarten.  Leaving the Weekday bubble was a huge part of it, but he was the only one leaving that bubble.  Harper was still going to be there.
I find that for Harper's Pre-K year I have very little sadness centered around her.  That child is ready to go to kindergarten. I feel confident that it will be a good environment for her and Big Creek is not an unknown to me anymore, so that part isn't scary. But this year is not just her last year of Weekday, it's mine.
No longer will my day start with a smile from Miss Cindy and funny Harper story from Miss Edde. No more walking down the hall past all of Garrett and Harper's old teachers and the little tiny faces they currently teach peeking over the gate. No more chats with Miss Claire about anything and everything.  And no more cautionary tales from Miss Kathy about raising my spirited daughter who reminds her so much of her own.
So today, which ranks among one of Harper's best (remember, face painting, bouncy houses AND Rena), is notable for me because it marked the first day I have cried about the end of this chapter. But I find that I cried not so much for Harper, as for me.
The goal of Waumba Land (and by extension, Weekday) is to give every child a favorable first impression of their Heavenly Father by teaching them that God made them, God loves them, and Jesus wants to be their friend forever. What you don't realize is that while they are teaching your children that, they are teaching you how to introduce God to your children as well (a rather daunting task for any parent).  I am just so, so grateful for my time in those halls. I entered that world a completely overwhelmed new mommy. I leave that world a competent and confident mother of elementary-aged kids who both have solid foundations for spiritual relationships. 

But not quite yet.