Still here

Whew!  It has been a crazy couple of weeks here at the Russell house.  I keep thinking life will slow down a bit and I think it's just getting faster and faster.  I feel like a hamster in a wheel almost all the the time.  Honestly, the thing I think most days is "How do people who have more than 2 kids do this?" The laundry, the lunches, the MESS, the logistics (especially with the one in elementary school)...I am on the go from about 6:15 straight through to at least 9:30 every day.  And when I choose to relax, I end up scrambling on something later.  Having Garrett on Spring Break this week has been wonderful...not having to scramble to get him on the bus by 7 every day has been so nice.  Makes me look forward to summer.

Anyway, I really need to be catching up on some work stuff, but I've missed you guys. Still composing blog entries in my head almost daily...just no time to actually write them down.  So here are a few tidbits to get you up to speed on happenings around here:

1.  WE GOT NEW FLOORS DOWNSTAIRS!!!  This is huge.  Should have been done when we moved in 2 1/2 years ago.  They look awesome.  Still waiting on the new carpet, but will post pics when it's all done.

2. I had a CT scan on my pesky parotid (salivary) gland and all is well.  I apparently just have "nodular" glands that tend toward knots.  No reason to go after them surgically.  Whew.  Dodged that bullet.

3.  I got great results from my whole body scan.  There was NO sign of cancer in my scan or my blood work.  This is just fantastic news.

4. We went to Asheville for a couple days over Spring Break.  It was fun...a nice getaway.

5. We had the Drive conference at work the last week of March.  It was our best yet.  It's my most favorite thing about my job.  It's completely exhausting, but totally exhilarating as well.

6.  We are moving office space at work the last week of April, which translates into me doing a lot of purging for my team in the coming weeks.  Busy time.  Lots of scanning documents.  I'm looking forward to getting everything organized though.

7.  This is my last little tidbit and probably the most significant.  I'm going to do my best to not ramble about this.  It's a bit of a follow up on my self-confidence post.  Something has clicked for me over the last few weeks.  And I have taken back my power.  I realized all the stuff I was feeling was all self-inflicted.  There is not ONE person in my life telling me I need to lose weight (including my plethora of doctors).  All of the negative thoughts about my body all come from ME.  All of the negative thoughts about all the stuff I'm not good at or can't do, all come from ME.  I am surrounded by supportive, loving friends and family. So I'm done. Would I love to lose 30 pounds?  Absolutely!  But I have made all the changes in exercise and diet I am willing/able to make at this time and haven't lost one, so I'm going to just hang out here for awhile.  My weight has remained incredibly, frustratingly stable over the last 2 years, but all my clothes still fit.  So I'm done looking in the mirror and wishing for something else.  It is what it is. I am pleased with how I feel and the progress I've made in my exercise classes.  I am stronger and more muscular. I'm tired of wearing black because it's slimming.  I went and got a dress for a friend's wedding last week and it's PURPLE and I look great in it. Not wearing any horrible "shaping" undergarments under it either. I have stopped looking at my body for what it's not and instead for what it is.  I was in Yoga today and instead of looking at my form in the mirror and lamenting over how chubby my tummy was, I saw how strong my legs looked and how much deeper into the lunge I was than the skinny minny next to me! Loved it!
There's probably about three more posts I could write about this, but for now I will just say that I am coming out of this funk. I have taken back my power.  I know that sounds really Oprah, but that's how I feel. And it feels more like me.