Father Daughter Dance

Harper and Jason went to the school's Father Daughter Dance on Friday. She was so excited.  We got her a new dress and she picked out Jason's tie.  She took a bath and we washed and dried and curled her hair. She barely ate any dinner because she was so excited to put her dress on. Her face lit up when Jason came down the stairs all dressed up to take her out. It was lovely.

What was not lovely was what occurred to me as they were pulling out of the driveway. In about 10 years, I'll be helping her get ready for another dance.  But this time, her face won't light up when she sees her Daddy.  It will light up when she sees another boy who comes to our door all dressed up to take her out. In his car. Without us.
Oh, I can't bear this. This push-pull longing I have as her mother.  On one hand, I am so excited to watch her grow, to figure out this creature that God gave me to shepherd, to have a deepening relationship with this girl who will grow to be an amazing woman. And then on the other hand, the longing to freeze time.  To stop it right here. To stop it at yesterday when she was curled up on my lap under a blanket while we watched TV. She was rubbing my face and kissing my cheek and whispering sweet and silly things to me while I tried to watch Downton Abbey. Perfection.
I will have to settle for freezing the moment in the picture above.
My baby. Always.