It's just always going to be hard

I had a bit of a scare today.  Last week I finally got around to having the mammogram my doctor gave me an order for last January.  It went well, very easy, I was in and out in 30 minutes.  But the technician warned me that because it was my baseline there was a really good chance they would call me back for another "diagnostic" mammogram to make sure they get really good pictures.  So I went on my way mentally preparing myself for the phone call and not the letter.
The call came yesterday.  I had expected the call.  What I was not expecting was that they wanted to look at a "spot" on my left breast. I was thinking they would say "we need to get more pictures" or "they were blurry", but not that there was an area of concern.  Luckily, they were able to get me in for the diagnostic mammogram today.  I do not think my nerves could have stood waiting much longer than that.
It was a long two hours.  They took 4 more pictures, had me wait in a different waiting room (there were 3 different ones), then came back to take 2 more pictures, then I had to do an ultrasound. All the while the doctor was like the Wizard of Oz.  I never saw him, but everyone had to go consult with him.  He even watched the images from my ultrasound in real time from his computer.  That worried me a bit. 
The end result was not bad news, but not good news either. The "spot" which is about 5mm was not visible on the ultrasound.  This means that it's not a cyst or a mass, as those always show on the ultrasound. It is likely an enlarged lymph node.  I will be going back in 6 months for another mammogram.  And it is completely possible that it's totally normal for me, but they don't have anything to compare it to, so they're being thorough to get a good baseline. Which I'm grateful for.
But the bottom line is they were looking for cancer. And as I get older and because of the unfortunate thyroid issue, they will always be looking for cancer. And that is always just going to be hard.