It's all in your head

So, week three of prepping for the 5K.  That is rapidly approaching. Starting to feel that feeling that accompanies any race sign up.  Namely, what in the heck was I thinking?
Totally forgot my sports bra when we went to Augusta for the air show.  Got up Saturday morning to run only to dig through all my clothes and come up empty.  Was actually really frustrated.  It's always more fun to run in a new place.  Plus I knew that put me behind and I would have to run 4 times this week. (For those of you like my husband who questioned why this bra-less-ness stopped me, suffice it to say us chubby girls have to be very supportive of our wobbly bits-it's a kindness to our bodies and to the general public, really.)
So today I left work a little early so I could go by the gym and run on the treadmill before it was time to pick up the kiddos. I hated every single minute.  I was trying to pay more attention to my speed.  It's usually a race against the clock for me, not so much about the speed.  But in order to meet the goals Sally has set for us, I needed to pay attention to my speed today.  I learned a couple of things.

1. I am not anywhere close to being able to run a 10 minute mile. Fifteen, maybe.  I was going to try to hit 5.5 on the treadmill.  4.3 was as high as I got and I'm pretty sure the guy next to me had his finger on the "9" on his phone because I know I sounded like I was living my last moments.
2. It is truly hilarious all the things I think about as I'm running just to keep myself running.  There's a running commentary between the devil and the angel on my shoulders. On the one side, I hear "you are amazing, you're doing so good, I'm so proud of you, look at you-you just ran for 4 minutes all strung together." And then on the other side, I hear "you suck, this was bad, bad idea, everybody is looking at you, everybody can hear you breathing (you freight train), Sally doesn't like you (or else why would she put you through this?).

But, you know what? I am amazing.  I frickin' did it.  I hated it, but I did it.

Boom.

That was for you, Can.