Harper's mom

Today we were at the dentist for Harper's monthly fluoride treatment (or "sparkles" as they refer to them). She has a soft spot on one of her front teeth, so they are trying to beef it up in an effort to avoid a cavity in that tooth as those are hard to fill.
This is something we've been doing all of this calendar year, so it's very normal for us.  It's a quick trip.  But something happened today that as soon as it happened, I knew it would make my blog.
When the hygienist came out to get Harper to take her back, she walked into the waiting room and called out "Harper's mom?"  This is how it goes every time we go to the dentist-they have to get your consent before they do anything.  But something about today, when that nurse called out "Harper's mom?" and I got to answer almost brought me to tears. In fact, I'm tearing up now as I type this.
I am Harper's mom. I will forever be Harper's mom. And Garrett's mom. Anytime someone asks, "Do you have children?" I get to say "Yes! I have a son, Garrett and a daughter, Harper." Forever.  I am their mom forever. I was not promised any children and I have two. I went through a little over two very dark years when I didn't think I would ever hold my child. And I got to hold two.
August and September are kind of rough months in my circle. August is the anniversary of Samuel.  Both his birth and his death.  September is the anniversary of Abbi's death.  The beautiful girl who we honored with Harper's middle name. September is also the anniversary of Brooks, who died before he ever drew his first breath outside his mommy's womb.
Maybe that's why today my heart was pricked with that simple question. Knowing that for three of my friends, they will never sit in a waiting room and be called that child's mom. That most people hesitate to even say that child's name around them because they are too afraid it will open the floodgates, but all it really does is make it feel like their child didn't have weight in this world.
But September has also been the bringer of good news.  A dear friend, whom God had said no to her pleas for a child, is pregnant. A woman who spent a good bit of her time loving on my children in Weekday will finally have her own baby to hold.
So that may be why too.  A reminder of where I was and where I now am. Unbelievably blessed. Profoundly grateful. Always aware that they are my gifts, not my right.
Harper's mom? That's me.
Thank you Jesus.