For all the hell she put me through in her first four years of life, my tiny girl is rapidly making up for it. She is just about the sweetest thing. Especially with her words. She is always saying such sweet things:
"You're the best mommy for me."
"I'm so proud to be your daughter."
"I love you more than Daddy."
"I love you so much."
"I love it when we spend time together."
And that's just a few. Really. Sometimes I feel like she is the voice of God in my life. Just when I'm having a rotten day, feeling like I'm failing in everything, here will come my sweet girl with just a little nugget of encouragement. That's got to be the Holy Spirit, right?
But another thing that she has said kind of a lot lately is starting to freak me out. Tonight she did it again. It was time for her to go upstairs to get in the bath and she grabbed me around the waist and looked up at me and said, "I'm going to be so sad after you die. I don't want to live without you." On the surface, so sweet. But this is like the 10th time she's mentioned my death. And how sad she's going to be after. Which is lovely, but I'm starting to wonder if she has some information I don't.
It reminds me of a story my mother tells of when I was around 4 years old. Apparently, I told her that I saw Jesus and it completely freaked her out. She said she read somewhere that children often see God right before they die and she just knew I was about to die. Clearly, that was wrong.
So I'm trying really hard to just chalk it up to a sweet girl beginning to grasp mortality.
But she's starting to freak me out.
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