September 9th

Dear Abbi,

Yesterday was the 16th anniversary of the day you were taken from us.  It was a beautiful, fall day here-really the first full day we've had that hinted of the changing season.  Honestly, for most of the day, it was a regular Friday for me, and then one little post on Facebook reminded me of what day it was.  And then I started composing this letter to you in my head.  So I thought I'd write it down.
I didn't really know you in life.  I had only been dating your cousin for a little over 6 months when you died.  I think I can count on one hand how many times you and I were in the same room.  But last night, Jason and I were at an event at our church and we sang this song called "Beautiful Things" and the chorus is about how God makes beautiful things out of the dust, out of us.  And I realized your death, even though it was completely devastating, has been made beautiful.  You are part of my faith journey.  I always tell others there was a moment when I fell in love with Jason and then there was another moment when I fell in love with his family.  That second moment came at your funeral and the few days following.  You would have been so proud of your mom and dad.  The beauty and grace with which they handled your death can only be explained by a real, vibrant relationship with Jesus.  Now that I am a mother, I really don't know how your mom didn't just crawl right into that casket with you and die right there.  But she didn't and she hasn't.
Both of the brothers you knew in life stood beside Jason as he took me as his bride.  Since this day came 4 years after we started dating, I like to think that you might have been standing beside me.  Over that 4 years, I know we would have grown closer simply because Jason regarded you as his sister as well. The little brother who came after your death was about 2 on this day and Jason and I are startled every time we see video or pictures at how much Caleb at that age looks like our Garrett.
You now have two sisters-one of whom you knew in life.  They are such good additions to our family and I just know you would like not being the only girl in your family anymore.  And you have a nephew!  Julian, to carry on the family name.  And it's only since his birth that I feel like we got Ashton back.  Your death was particularly devastating to Ashton and he was angry for a long time. It was really hard for Jason to watch how much Ashton changed.
Oh Abbi, you would have been a beautiful bride. Your sisters-in-law were beautiful brides on their beautiful wedding days, but I have to admit it was difficult to watch your parents be the parents of the groom, knowing they will never get the chance to be the parents of the bride. To me, there was a noticeable gap in the pictures on both those days.  I like to tease Jason that we will be driven into the poor house buying wedding gifts for all the cousins he has, but I sure would have liked buying a wedding present for you.  There's one more wedding we should have to go to.
We were blessed with a little boy, Garrett, who is our miracle child.  I had a hard time getting pregnant and we had given up.  But right after we signed with an adoption agency I found out I was pregnant.  And that little boy came into our lives on a Saturday in November 2004.  You probably would have held him a good bit at that Christmas Eve Spectacular (my nickname for your enormous family's Christmas party) because he had just started smiling and was just so darn cute.
When we found out we were pregnant with Garrett, we decided not to find out the gender of the baby before he or she was born.  But we had decided on names.  And that summer at Fripp, we asked your Dad and your brothers if we could have the honor of honoring you with our daughters' middle name.  They said yes.  But then Garrett Allen was born.  The name would have to wait. Or possibly never be.  I had no expectation that I would be able to get pregnant again.  But when Garrett was 2 (actually on the day of his 2nd birthday party), I found out we were expecting baby #2.
And on a sunny Thursday in July 2007, Harper Abbigail came into this world.  It was a good thing she was a girl, we never could quite settle on a boy's name!  The tradition in my family is that the girls have the middle name of Marie-the name of my grandmother.  But I have known that we wanted Abbi in the name for quite some time.  So the most perfect thing of all is that we were able to honor both you (Abbi) and my mother (Gail) with the middle name.  It carries on your memory and my family tradition of the grandmothers' name all at the same time  Did you know your dad just "happened" to be in Atlanta the day Harper was born?  He got to see your namesake when she was about 7 hours old.  It remains Jason and I's biggest regret of that day that we didn't take any pictures of him with Harper.  Don't know why-I think we were just too caught up in the moment.
I have told your mom on a couple of occasions that I hope she and your dad feel particularly close to Harper.  It's hard because we live in Atlanta, but I think that they do.  Your mom buys Harper presents for Christmas, even though it's against the Christmas Eve Spectacular rules. :)
After Harper was born, we moved your picture that had stood on our dresser our entire marriage, into Harper's room.  It seems to just fit in there better now.  She has only asked a couple of times who you were and both times I told her that you were the Abbi that gave her her middle name.  I can't wait until she gets a bit bigger and can understand your whole story.
Yesterday was Harper's first soccer practice.  Jason and I came to see you play soccer in Athens-it's the only time I can think of that I was with you alone-every other time was at a huge family gathering. It was fitting, I think, to watch my blond haired daughter run around the soccer field yesterday.
So you see, when I think of you, I see the beautiful things God has made out of your death. Your parents are still married-most of the time when parents lose a child, they also lose their marriage. You have a new little brother who is rapidly becoming a man in front of my eyes.  But his birth is also a miracle story! Andrew and Ashton married so well. Ashton has a son to carry on his name, your dad's name, and your precious grandfather's name. And Clark, the man who was driving the car that terrible night, well, you wouldn't even recognize him anymore.  He and Kathy got married and they have a little girl too-my niece, Graysan.  And Clark has to go to dance recitals!  Don't tell anyone, but I think he kind of likes it.
But the most beautiful thing to me is my marriage.  You see, I fell in love with Jason on our first date (cliche I know, but true).  But he was not as sold on me. He liked me and liked spending time with me, but it wasn't until your death that he got serious about me. He told me that it was the first time he wanted to be with someone outside the family when tragedy struck.  And so I was there with your family in some pretty dark days, even though I didn't really belong. And seeing the way your whole family rallied around your parents and Jason's parents during that time was beautiful.  Since that time, I have never doubted the healing power of God and how the body of Christ works. I have also never doubted that Jason and I's relationship would look very different (or may not even still exist) had we not walked through that together.
So even though we would much rather have you here, we know where you are and cling to the promise that we will all be together in heaven one day. 
God makes beautiful things.