The scream test

If you have been around me much, you have probably heard the story of how we had to go back to drawing board for names when I was newly pregnant with Garrett.  We had picked out names when we were trying to get pregnant- a boy would be Ethan James and a girl would be Anna Kate (and we would call her Anna Kate).  We found out we were pregnant at the very beginning of March and suddenly Ethan and Anna Kate would maybe get to be real babies-so exciting.  Both of my cousins' wives were pregnant at that same time and Evan James was born at the end of March and Anna Colleen came in early April.  So there went our names.  I was so bummed.  Thus began the almost 6 month long search for new names.

As we were "auditioning" new names, we developed what I later termed the "scream test".  We would be watching TV or reading a book and come across a possible name and if it met with approval by both of us, we would then shout the name in two different ways-one like a calling them in for dinner and one like yelling at them because they've been bad.  This really helped us eliminate lots of names.  Some names sound great in conversation and look fabulous on paper, but fall apart when you yell it in anger!  And let's be honest, I yell Garrett's name much more than I just speak it, because when I speak to him, I don't usually say his name-I'm either looking at him or call him a nickname.

Today, I came across a name that really fails the scream test. Garrett and I were in McDonald's.  Garrett has been home sick with strep and I think, a viral fever, for the last 2 days.  This morning I had a scheduled endocrinologist appointment that turned into a 3 hour tour of medical offices-McDonald's was Garrett's reward for being stellar during those 3 hours.

While we were there, there were 2 other mothers there with their children.  Because I am an incurable eavesdropper, I quickly ascertained that these moms were kind of tag teaming home schooling their oldest children and McDonald's was the first stop on a field trip to make pottery for a fall activity.  I clearly did not have much in common with these Martha Stewart moms.  But the most notable part of the meal came when Mom #1 decided it was time to round up the older children to get shoes on and go potty before striking out for the pottery place.  So she started hollering for the kids to come down from the play place.  "Eli, Samuel, come get your shoes"  And then, wait for it..."Hosanna, you too! Come get your shoes on!"  At first I though I heard her wrong and that she said "Hannah".  But then little Hosanna was a tad defiant and wouldn't come down, so Mom #1 got a little more firm and yelled it again.  I almost burst out laughing.

With 2 brothers named Eli and Samuel, I feel confident this family are Christians who looked to the Bible for inspiration when naming their children.  And they probably were so excited about the name Hosanna.  I mean what better way to honor God than to name your child after the word used to praise Him.   However, I also feel very confident that they did not use the scream test on little Hosanna's name.  Because it loses a little of its reverance when you're yelling it in McDonald's.